House on a Mountain

I love Ingrid Michaelson's song "You and I."

I'm a sucker for simple melodies, unassuming vocals, clever lyric, and duets that remind me of Jo and I.  That's the beauty of a universal love song I suppose, just about anyone could think it's been written for them.  Over the last few weeks though, Jo and I began to have a special attachment to this song as we quite nearly bought a "house on a mountain, making everybody look like ants..."  When I say nearly, I mean to say that we were under contract, and even paid the $400 for an inspection.

(darling)

I've never even come close to buying a home before, so this was quite a leap.  We found it on our own, driving around one day - that to say, we weren't really in the market or looking.  It was a quaint cottage nestled on a corner lot up the hill in Palmer Lake, and when I call it cozy, I mean it - 560 square feet of cozy.  It was the cheapest home in the neighborhood, and in truly great condition for a home built in 64'.  Looking into the sky on a third of an acre, with a steal of an asking price, killer interest rate, great broker, lender and even seller - everything seemed too good to be true...  In a way.

I have to admit, there's something in a respectable man (something I hope I'm becoming more of) that starts clicking into place when he gets married, and then rolls into high gear when he is becoming a Father.  It's this weird, protective, providing instinct that begins to take over his waking mind.  There began to be something in me that wanted this place for its privacy, security and dependability.  There was another piece that swelled in my to keep up with the Jones', get started on an investment of some sort, and find a place to 'tend' - to grow and develop by the sweat of my brow.  All the while, I was asking God for direction, for any hint as to what we should do.  Surly he has the corner market on what makes a good decision - looking at time from outside it and being omniscient and all...  But although I prayed, opened myself to hearing his voice, and tried to hold any idea loosely, I got nothing.

A test of faith if you will.

But, all of my instinct about the affair began to blind me to a truth, lurking in the back of my mind.  I had tried to ignore it, thought of ways around it, but still it remained: We couldn't afford to buy the house.

That's a fairly straightforward thing to say to the whole world on your blog, but there it is.  Let me add a caveat: we could have made it happen... maybe.  And this is where I was, yesterday even.  But then, yesterday afternoon we brought my parents into the equation and took them to see it; beautiful view, white trim, quaint town and all.  Gravel crunched under the tires on the dirt roads, and the trees swayed in the breeze as a bite in the air suggested adventure.  They loved it too.

Afterward, at coffee I laid out the logic for buying, and the logic for not buying.  I so appreciated the way my folks talked it out with us.  They didn't say much; they didn't need to.  Jo and I had already considered all the sides, all the possibilities.  Yes, it could have worked, in a very "tighten-your-belt-for-the-next-15-years-and-hope-disaster-doesn't-strike" kind of way... with a few mythical raises, second jobs, and "counted-on gifts" from family, we could have narrowly squeaked by.  But it ended up that God spoke indeed - through wisdom, and through his body.

CS Lewis said that "above all, [God] works on us through each other."  Proverbs 24:6 says it a different way: "Surely you need guidance to wage war, victory is won through many advisers."  There came a time in this debacle that I wanted to just hear from God himself; in the din of opinion it seemed people either widely encouraged us or discouraged us.  Ultimately though God worked through my parents who left us to our decision and supported us along the way.

So Dave Ramsey - eat your heart out.  We've re-arrived at the place of paying off debt, saving for a little addition called "Peanut," and being faithful with what we have and where we are.  In Ingrid's words, what we ended up finding is that we're a little closer to the "don't you worry there my honey, we may not have any money, but we've got our love to pay the bills..."

And I've discovered that's not a bad place to be at all.